Tis the season for divorced men to spend quantity time with their kids. Are you ready?
much is harder on children. Here's how to steer through toubled water.
court is no place for men to expect justice, argues one angry expert.
marriage has gone south. But far enough to suffer the many pains of
divorce? Fatherly advice from Dr. Wade Horn.
Your Ex Moves
Your kids could
be a thousand miles away. How do you fight it? Should you?
rules to see you through a rough time.
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Facts And Figures:
37.9% of divorced or separated fathers have no access or visitation rights. (Census Bureau, September 1991)
40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion in order to punish the ex-spouse. (Frequency of Visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers and Mothers, Sanford Braver et al, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 1991)
Approximately 50% of mothers see no value in the father's continued contact with his children. (Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein)
The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more frequent contact with the children." (Increasing our Understanding of Fathers Who Have Infrequent Contact with their Children, James Dudley, Family Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991)
Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children. (Ahrons and Miller, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 63. p. 442, July 1993)
77% of non-custodial fathers are not able to visit their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. (Visitational Interference: A National Study, J. Annette Vanini, M.S.W. and Edward Nichols, M.S.W.)
Civil War: A Dad's Guide to Custody
By Joseph E Cordell.
Cordell's book hits harder than a three-hundred-pound linebacker. Level-headed and no-nonsense, Civil War is based on the premise that the modern-day court system continues to operate on the assumption that, in the event of divorce, women are-and always should be-the primary custodial parent; and that, furthermore, men are frequently perceived as liars and abusers who can't be trusted with kids. Consequently, says the author, custody battles aren't the time to lose your head, but rather, to screw them on straight. This isn't pleasure reading-it's a playbook.