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Lost Innocence, Could Your Child Kill?
The urgent and disturbing debate by Paige Egan (9/13/00) Once we pigeon-holed violent kids as marginalized members of the disadvantaged class. But all that changed in 1998 when America faced the incontrovertible fact that nice boys and girls from tidy suburbs could do lethal violence too. Fifteen year old Kip Kinkel, a smart, popular if sullen boy from a prosperous two career family murdered his parents, slept well in his own bed, then, toting weapons worthy of an Iraqui terrorist in his back pack, mowed down 24 of his fellow students. Parents panicked, even more so after the events at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, a Denver suburb. Suddenly poverty and dark skin were no longer prerequisites for brutality and senseless murder. What about our own teenagers or precocious preteens, we wondered? Maybe 11 year old Darren's screaming fits weren't harmless. And what about the make-up that 8-year-old Diana shoplifted? Was dad's gun collection ripe for the taking? What does it mean when a group of "normal" teenagers lure a Chinese take-out man, as happened recently in New York, then brutally kill him---for a free meal. The Roots of Callousness Dr. James Garbarino is the author of "Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent." As head of Cornell University's Family Life Development Center, Garbarino has long studied child and adolescent psychology, focusing on incarcerated boys and their families. He blames "The unforgiving nature of modern life [which] puts so much pressure on kids to grow up perfectly: perfectly powerful, perfectly sexy, perfectly rich and resistant to day-to-day pressures. . ." Add to this busy parents who work long hours leaving kids free to get into mischief. Add movies, video and computer games that glorify violence and popular music that extols destructive impulses. Then add weapons. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Ga, conducted a recent study showing that in any 3 day period, 30% of high school boys carry a lethal weapon and 12% take it to school. Of that same group, less than 10% of the boys were mentally ill, meaning victims of delusions and/or hallucinations. They were "normal." If not actual murder, all the study's subjects had fought bloody fights with other kids, robbed and raped. And to those who say--"Not in Our Back Yard" Garbarino cites geographer Jonathan Crane's study showing that an upper-middle class suburb can lose its predominantly affluent demographic when it reaches a tipping point. If 6% of the schools and community fall prey to social pathology--drop-outs, teen pregnancy, drugs, -- the area could become a war zone where 2/3 of kids have witnessed a murder, attended a playmate's funeral, seen drive-bys, etc. The Violence at Home Pediatric surgeon Dr. Jonathan Groner heads the Trauma Surgery Unit at Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio and emphasizes that the most common cause of death in children aged 15-24 is firearms. "Last week," he told dadmag, "I treated a 3 year old boy shot in the carotid artery by his 12 year old sister and that tragedy never would have happened unless guns were available in the home. Kids in the 10-13 age range and younger pick up a firearm and use it without understanding the consequences of their action. There is no borderline between play and reality." Groner stresses that we should look beyond schools as danger zones. "Studies show that more kids are shot or badly harmed in two days of domestic violence than in the average school year. Ninety percent of children under 6 are injured by a parent or caretaker, and 70% by another relative." Asked if focusing on school incidents isn't a way of blaming kids, Groner agrees. "It doesn't help to demonize so-called soulless or super-predator kids. We have no more violence with firearms today than 2 decades ago. Domestic violence is far more prevalent and crosses all socioeconomic lines. And remember, the number one killer of kids between 5-14 is auto accidents. Drivers under the influences of drugs or alcohol and lack of car seat safety are usually the parents' fault." Warning Signs As for prevention, Dr. Groner cites warning signs in the 7-9 range that he calls the half-empty glass syndrome. "You see kids fixated on death, dwelling on morbidity. These are symptoms of serious depression and the potential for homicide and suicide." Parents, and teachers, he stresses, should be alert to repetitive behavior patterns. "Kids who always talk back, get into some sort of trouble. Kids who are paranoid-say everybody's against them, that they have no friends, feel alone and unloved. Never overlook the significance of sleep disturbances. A kid with chronic insomnia may be severely depressed, particularly at a younger age. And, for some reason, Dr. Groner finds parents hesitant to seek help for their child. "Let's face it, mental illness is still taboo. Parents are much quicker to rush the kid to a physician for a minor ailment or acting our pattern hoping to avoid the stigma of going to a mental health professional, even a guidance counselor. And some parents are afraid their medical insurance won't cover counseling." Another indication of trouble is a child who skips or misses school, a problem for two reasons, says Dr. Groner. "It's usually a sign of an upset kid and often the school's response to a troublemaker is to kick him out of school. Isolation is the worst thing for children. They need to socialize with others. They can't stand feeling singled out, or being cast out." Another symptom of potential disaster Dr. Groner often sees in the Trauma Unit is concussions or undiagnosed head injuries. "It's normal for youngsters to lose impulse control and sound off so much they get into fights. Resulting injuries may be mild to moderate with short-term memory loss, but schools type these kids as sociopaths and kick them out. Rather than being therapeutic, the schools get punitive, put them on the 'Bad Kid Track' and they never recover." Lots of head injuries result from domestic violence, too. Let's Curb Guns Add to the mix our culture's glorification and commodification of violence--only surpassed by Japan. "Kids have trouble differentiating between reality and games. Mine are 7 and 11 and I keep our television and computers locked up. I ration and supervise their time," reports Groner. "I see exposure to media violence as a public health problem that should be studied and dealt with as such. Same with firearms control. Safety is primary. Every year 35,000 youth deaths are caused by hand guns parents or other family members keep at home for protection. But it doesn't make sense to keep a gun in your night table drawer against a prowler who just wants your TV, given the risks." Dr. Jonathan Groner, who signs death certificates for young people every day in the Trauma Unit, mentions a recent CDC study showing that 70% of homicides in the 15-19 age range result from firearms kept in the home. "Thirty percent of all gun deaths are kids shot by kids. "It's time to get real about what makes our kids turn to violence," he adds. HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM: SYMPTOMS OF POTENTIALLY VIOLENT BEHAVIOR (from the "Nurture Assumption," by Judith Harris) 1. As an infant, lacks responsiveness in the early months. This may indicate brain damage syndrome either congenital or as a result of maltreatment. 2. Very high activity level. Child seems chronically hyped up, antsy, restless, seeking stimulation. 3. Exhibits callousness towards the feelings of others--peers, adults, and/or pets. 4. Risk-taking behavior. Lacks sense of physical consequences of dangerous behavior, sports, games. 5. Perpetually bored by routine. 6. Thrill-seeking-- searches for outlandish excitement, trouble, or risk 7. Generally uncooperative, refuses to comply with requests.
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