Answer:
Let's see now. Your 15-year-old daughter has to be reminded to do chores and pick up after herself. Hmmm. Sounds to me like you have a teenager in the house!

Being a teenager isn't easy. At one moment, teens are testing limits and experimenting with independence. The next, they are seeking closeness and reassurance from their parents that they are valued members of the family. Adolescence also can be a time of great loneliness, yet a time of intense peer activity and expanding
interpersonal relationships as well.

These behavioral contradictions are the result of the primary task of the teenage years: to achieve a sense of personal identity separate from their parents. This "search for identity," as noted psychologist Erik Erikson
called it, is a struggle to know who they are, what they believe in, and what they want to accomplish in life. The outcome of this search is neither easy nor certain. That's what makes being a teenager so challenging.

Making this struggle particularly pressing is the knowledge that very soon they will be leaving home and on their own. Despite the bravado of adolescence, deep down they are more than just a little anxious about this
prospect. So they constantly test themselves to see how much of life they can handle on their own.

One way teens assert their independence is by being noncompliant around the home. In this respect, the teen years are really a more mature version of the terrible twos. The reason that 2- and 3-year-olds can be so
frustrating is that they assert their independence by saying "no" to everything. Teenagers often assert their independence through many silent "nos."

That doesn't mean parents should simply sit back and accept noncompliant behavior from their teenagers. Far from it. But when dealing with teens it helps to have a little insight into the reasons for their behavior.

So what's a parent to do? Provide three things: Love, limits and consistency.

The first ingredient for effectively parenting of teenagers is being warm and affectionate. Parental warmth is important because it enhances a teenager's desire to be like his or her parents and to follow household rules. Parents who are warm and affectionate also are better able to use withdrawal of affection as a disciplinary technique instead of harsher discipline. So give your teen lots of hugs, compliments and expressions of love.

Love, however, is not enough. Parents of teens need to combine high warmth with limits. Parents of teens need to be ready, willing and able to set clear limits and apply consequences when those limits are breached.

A key to effective limit setting is giving clear commands. Instead of saying, "It would be nice if you could help out around the house a little," say, "I want you to pick up the living room before 8 p.m. or else no TV this evening." Clearly state what you want your teen to do and the consequence for not doing what you have asked.

Another good guide is to use "grandma's rule" which says, "First you do what I want you to do, and then you get to do what you want to do." You might say, for example, "First you must clean your room, and then you can watch TV," or "First you must do the dishes, and then you can talk on the phone."

In giving commands and setting limits, it is important to be firm. Your teenager may whine and complain about your instruction or limit; she even may say you are the meanest, rottenest parent in the whole wide world. Don't you believe it, not even for a second. Research consistently shows that parents who set and enforce reasonable limits raise more self-competent, self-confident and well-behaved teens than those who do not.

Finally, you need to be consistent. No matter whether you are tired, frustrated at work or angry with your spouse, you still have to demonstrate your love for your teen and set firm and consistent limits. When parents are not consistent, their teenagers are more likely to engage in aggressive and non-compliant behavior.

There you have it. The three cardinal rules for parenting teens: show lots of love, set and enforce clear limits, and be consistent. If you do these three things, it is very likely your daughter's behavior will improve. Not to the point where she will be running around the house cheerfully helping you vacuum and do the dishes, but she will be more motivated to do as you ask the first time you ask.

As for your daughter's intelligence level, I don't think that has anything to do with anything. She's intelligent enough to be doing great in school, so she's intelligent enough to do what you ask at home when you ask her to do it. She's just being a teenager. And like teenagers everywhere, what she needs is loving, firm and consistent parenting.