So You Wanna Be A Coach

This may sound like a harsh hello to the helpful dad who's volunteering for his child's new league. But I love sports. I watch. I play. I get paid for writing about sports. I've coached and I've refereed. And I've seen enough of youth sports to know that adults can easily ruin much of what is wonderful about it.

It doesn't have to be this way, though. Being a coach can be incredibly fun-and educational-for you and for the kids you're coaching. So if your good intentions have led you to a field, court, rink, or diamond to coach a team in the 5 to 8 age range, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Keep your mouth shut
Don't scream non-stop instructions. Let kids make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes.

Keep the parents quiet
They can clap at the good stuff if they want, but a children's sporting event should be dominated by sounds of children, not adults. Advise the parents to attend pro events if they've got an urge to be overzealous.

Never berate or blame the referee
Yelling at a referee sets a terrible example. If you must point out a severe blunder, do it politely, during a break, out of everyone else's earshot. Blaming a referee for a loss only teaches players to shun personal responsibility. If the players are upset at the ref, remind them that they got some good breaks as well. That's usually the truth.

Don't turn the field into a classroom or act like a general
Coaches love to act like Patton addressing the troops. But this ain't the army. Nor is it school time. Children come to play, not to get lectured. Don't stand in front of them, clipboard in hand, and give long speeches. When it's necessary to address the team as a group, keep it as brief as possible.

Give advice one-on-one
When offering tips, address players individually. For example, at halftime, let the kids sit around and walk to each with a short, simple message. "Hey, John, you're looking good, but think about passing to Marcelo when he's open. ... Jack, don't be afraid to use your left foot. ... Sally, don't scream at your teammates, OK?"

Children-all of us, as a matter a fact-are more likely to digest individual instructions. And if you have to scold--"Janet, you're not out there to hurt people!"--don't do it publicly. Instead, pull the child aside and do it privately. You'll be a lot less likely to get an indignant response that way.

Practice in small groups and avoid lines
At practice, break the team down in small groups so kids get as many touches on the ball as possible. This will also prevent the necessity of making players wait in line for their turn. No one likes waiting in line.

A ball for everyone
Have every kid bring a ball to practice and use it as much as possible. All the tactical intricacies that kids are going to learn later will come easier if they have acquired good ball (or puck) skills. Obviously, have all the safety equipment that any particular sport requires.

Avoid "drills"
We're talking about coaching young children and practice should always be fun. Everything they do at practice should feel like playing, not training. For each sport there are myriad fun scenarios for practice. If you're at a loss, create your own by modeling them after playground games like tag, keep-away, and dodge-ball.

No typecasting!
Rotate positions. Let everyone get a shot at every spot on the field, court, rink or diamond. Don't force the fat kid to play catcher or goalkeeper all the time. Give the star a taste of right field (or even the bench) now and again. Have your tall, lanky center see what playing guard is like. In soccer, don't scream at the 6-year-old defender who roams into the offense, or the forward who wants to chase back to defense.

If you can't play ...
It's wonderful if you can teach by example. Kids will be inspired by your talent and try to emulate your moves. But if you can't, kudos for not shying away from the challenge. Young children don't require expert coaches. They need someone who can supervise fun and sportsmanship. Still, learn as much as you can about the sport, but don't rely on just reading about it. Watch it whenever you can. And recruit some assistants or older kids to come to your practices and help out.

Competition isn't evil, but ...
To deny that sports at any level are competitive is true hypocrisy. Sport is competition. And it's perfectly fine for 6-year-olds to try to win. As a coach, one of your biggest jobs is to teach them how to lose. Your example, and the behavior of the parents, will go a long way toward instilling good sportsmanship. But remember, the future success of the youngsters you're coaching won't depend on today's results. If they're having fun at this age, you're setting them up to yearn to improve.

Now it's up to you, Coach.